Free invisible hit counter ProfShade: Dude<sup>1</sup>, Where's My Grant? #3

Friday, December 17, 2004

Dude1, Where's My Grant? #3

Amid the poster-laden walls of the Humantities department at the University of Queensland, just next to the faculty coffee urn:
Prof #1: In my latest grant I argue that queer theory needs to extend its theoretical reach beyond an increasingly over-privileged and narrow use of sexuality.
Prof #2: Whoa! That's hot. Like even sending an email or eating Doritos is like queer, eh?
Prof #1: Precisely. The mouth machine registers experiences and then articulates them -- utters them. In eating we may munch into whole chains of previously established connotations, just as we may disrupt them. For instance, an email arrives, leaving traces of its rhizomatic2 passage zapping from one part of the world to another, and then to me. 'UNSOLICITED, it sets out a statement from a Dr Johannes Van Vugt, in San Francisco, who began an ongoing 'Fast for Equal Rights for persons who are gay, lesbian and other sexual orientation minorities'3.
Prof #2: So between you and me, what are you going to do with all that grant money?
Prof #1: You know those O'Donnell cruises? This girl's going to 'forward more email' than a Bahamas-based spam server on steroids.

Thanks to Tim Blair.

1. According to a study performed by University of Pittsburgh professor Scott Kiesling, women, in certain situations, call themselves 'dude.' Also, I didn't want to fuck around with the premise of this on-going schtick.
2. The only rhizomatic occurrence in my life recently, thank god, has been a pernicious case of 'creeping Charley' in my front yard that even the most adept landscaping specialists have been unable to subdue, despite repeated doses of dioxin, fluorine and agent orange. But if I were you, I'd call Symantec right now and see if they have a virus screen for this 'rhizomatic traces' crap.
3. I would guess she's referring to creepy stuff like this.