Even More Last Minute Gift Ideas
- Unexpected yet totally satisfactory encounter with a waitress at the local IHOP, the smell of warm pecan syrup lingering in the air.
- Cheese balls that don't break your crackers.
- Peace on earth, goodwill to all men. Well, almost all men. Fuck those guys who hang out in bars Christmas Eve while their kids get stuck at home eating leftover meatloaf sandwiches watching Frostie the Snowman, with like maybe one crappy dime-store toy under the half-dead tree. No goodwill to those shits. But certainly a large majority of the women. Even crack whores.