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Thursday, December 30, 2004

A Few Alternative Activities You Should Consider in Lieu of Drinking Your Fool Ass Off and Puking Up Your Left Lung Against Your Neighbor's Living Room Wall in the Wee Small Hours of 2005:
  • Donate all your worldly goods to charity
  • Create festive '2005' calendars from leftover Christmas wrapping and dog kibble
  • Research the cause of hiccups
  • Organize a Monopoly tournament for the homeless in your neighborhood
  • Pen a heartfelt yet stern letter to Secretary General Kofi Annan detailing your profound dissapointment in his handling of the the U.N. Oil-for-Food scandal and recommend at least three other jobs Mr. Annan would be better suited for, excluding men's room attendant at the Chicken Ranch Whorehouse in Pierce, Nevada
  • Wash your hands-- again and again

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