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Friday, December 17, 2004

Questions a Jaded Yet Still Hopeful Professor Asks Himself as He Cruises into a Christmas Break Replete with Expectations of Good Cheer and Single Malt Scotch
  1. Would a rubber stamp that reads in need of massive terraforming be in poor taste or merely poorly understood
  2. Should it bother me that my students will be getting laid more than I in the next 14 days, even that dork who sits in the back in Contemporary American Lit instant messaging on his Samsung 190e cell phone
  3. Did I lock the bottom drawer of my filing cabinet
  4. Are thesis committees more like Donald Rumsfeld's open and candid meeting with the troops in Kuwait or Kofi Annan's intentionally superficial investigation into the Oil-for-Food scandal
  5. Will a kevlar vest ruin the lines on my tweed sport coat