Free invisible hit counter ProfShade: Let's Politicize Every Holiday!

Monday, February 14, 2005

Let's Politicize Every Holiday!

It seems like not a special day on the calendar can escape the ravages of politics from the right or left. Valentine's Day is the latest victim. There will be coordinated attacks on this sugar-sweet Hallmark holiday today with nationwide protests for gay marriage (the Left) and abstinence (the Right). It's too late to say 'get a grip.' No turning back now. As soon as we designate a day as 'special' there is a special-interest group willing to imbue it with meanings never meant for a cause that only tangentially relates. Well let's get pro-active. I've developed a list of as-yet 'unsullied' and politically 'virgin' days. Let's see how we can fuck them up with meanings they were never meant to convey. Feel free to post your own days and organizations that could screw with them in the comments section...

Ground Hog Day-- How the hell did PETA miss this one for so long?
President's Day-- Where are the 'Al Gore Won' protesters when you need them?
Memorial Day, Indianapolis 500-- is Greenpeace really so busy with whales they don't have time to protest this glorification of the mass consumption of fossil fuels?
Mother's Day-- Should infertile women be made to suffer any longer? Where is the outrage?
Father's Day-- I think a backlash from unrecognized and ignored sperm donors is long overdue. The least they should lobby for is the annual receipt of loud neck-ties from fertility clinics.
Grandparent's Day-- Euthanasia support organizations should be mobilized nationwide.