Stewart Ready to Meet Stewart
Lynne F. Stewart, an outspoken lawyer known for representing a long list of unpopular defendants, was convicted yesterday by a federal jury in Manhattan of aiding Islamic terrorism by smuggling messages out of jail from a terrorist client.
In a startlingly sweeping verdict, Ms. Stewart was convicted on all five counts of providing material aid to terrorism and of lying to the government when she pledged to obey federal rules that barred her client, Sheik Omar Abdel Rahman, from communicating with his followers. Her co-defendants, Ahmed Abdel Sattar and Mohamed Yousry, were also convicted of all the charges against them.1
Ms. Stewart's main line of defense was that she believed she was passing love notes between Yousry and his 231 lovers. "These radical Islamists are known for their outspoken virility," she testified. "Who am I to stand in the way of unpopular love?"
"I see myself as being a symbol of what people rail against when they say our
civil liberties are eroded," she said to a small cluster of her supporters
outside the federal district courthouse. "I hope this will be a wake-up call to
all the citizens of this country, that you can't lock up the lawyers, you can't
tell the lawyers how to do their jobs."
"...unless you pay us cash. If it's cash up-front we'll strip down to our undies, crawl around on all fours and bark like a dog if you want us to. But this 'no aiding terrorism' bullshit has to stop."
Ms. Stewart went on to make other startingly sweeping statements by saying she was also a symbol of the results of non-organic farming in third-world dictatorships, an icon of repressed womanhood in a hegomonic neo-colonial society and will appear next month as the Miss March centerfold in Jihadboy magazine.
Meanwhile, Martha Stewart, in a statement released by her unpopular attorneys said she had a pillow all fluffed up and waiting for Lynne, no relation. "And I'll share my jasmine soap," the domestic diva-turned-felon added.
1. New York Times