Free invisible hit counter ProfShade: World Naked Bike Ride

Thursday, June 16, 2005

World Naked Bike Ride

OK, so now it seems that any social cause at all is reason to flaunt your nude body in public. The latest is the World Naked Bike Ride to protest the dependence on fossil fuel. (Warning, may not be safe for work...)

So I can see riding bikes in protest of oil. Makes aesthetic sense. But nude bike riding? C'mon.

According to the site (of course they have a site!) "We face automobile traffic with our naked bodies as the best way of defending our dignity and exposing the unique dangers faced by cyclists and pedestrians as well as negative consequences we all face due to the dependence on oil, and other forms of non-renewable energy."1

I've been an avid cyclist for over 20 years, and here's just a few 'unique dangers' nude cyclists are really facing:

  • Sunburned buttocks
  • Scrotal and labial friction burns from the bike seat
  • Active and derisive cat-calls from pedestrians as they see flabby baby boomers bouncing along pot-hole strewn thoroughfares

    It is good to see, however, that as the cyclists seem to have no regard for the safety of their respective genitals and breasts, most are wearing helmets. I guess cranial injury is one 'unique danger' they are not willing to risk for the cause.

    1. Grammarian's note: this is the grossest example of faulty parallel sentence structure ever witnessed in left-wing, babble-speak prose.