tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507Sat, 21 Feb 2009 16:41:53 +0000Come for the pornography, stay for the footnoteshttp://profshade.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)Blogger244125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111963235133061717Fri, 24 Jun 2005 16:58:00 +00002005-06-24T10:01:38.870-07:00 Britney Spears nude photo shoot? And pregnant? And how will the child feel about this once he/she is in high school? And does Demi Moore get any retro-credit? All I can say is anything that puts the chill on ratemyboobies.com is probably a bad, censorous thing. Just make sure all pics are accompanied with a visible, valid driver's license. Don't tell our mascot Suzie, but big busts are going http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/06/freakin-friday-softcore-surfin_24.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111936740786674999Tue, 21 Jun 2005 15:23:00 +00002005-06-21T08:23:27.870-07:00 In the wake of Saddam Hussein's lucrative Hanes Underoos pictorial in the London Mirror, the former dictator has now racked up a bevy of new product placements in his Iraqi jail cell. Look for Doritos, Raisin Bran Crunch and Cheetos to capitalize on the latest Saddam fever sweeping marketing circles."If it's good enough for a deposed, mass-murdering dictator, it's good enough for me and my http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/06/saddam-racks-up-new-product-placement_21.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111897706624575059Fri, 17 Jun 2005 02:57:00 +00002005-06-16T19:57:46.253-07:00 I don't think this is what we had in mind when we signed NAFTA... ...and she only got 30 days? Stupidity alone would dictate a year behind bars. They're so starved for a good meal, it is consuming them.... But what if you prefer quantity over quality??? That's when you dig into the Jennifer Garner files, I guess. This is NO JOKE; it can't be...it's in Norwegian...http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/06/freakin-friday-softcore-surfin_16.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111894445474466982Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:54:00 +00002005-06-16T10:54:14.746-07:00OK, so now it seems that any social cause at all is reason to flaunt your nude body in public. The latest is the World Naked Bike Ride to protest the dependence on fossil fuel. (Warning, may not be safe for work...)So I can see riding bikes in protest of oil. Makes aesthetic sense. But nude bike riding? C'mon. According to the site (of course they have a site!) "We face automobile traffic with http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/06/world-naked-bike-ride.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111894438347823379Thu, 16 Jun 2005 17:52:00 +00002005-06-16T10:53:03.483-07:00This survey done by AP-IPSOS has Hollywood's silk undies in a bundle, and for good reason. A few facts: 69% feel Hollywood actors make poor role models 47% think movies are getting worse A whopping 77% would rather watch at home than go to the theaterWith a 6500% (that's right 6 thousand 5 hundred!) markup on popcorn, a 2500% markup on soda and 8-10 dollar ticket prices, can you blame us? Not to http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/06/movie-theaters-rip.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111781402736107375Fri, 03 Jun 2005 15:42:00 +00002005-06-03T08:53:47.366-07:00 Perv 54 Where Are You? Brothel Museum Heist: Wild West Dildos Missing Giving new meaning to the term 'in the closet.' I wonder if anyone has the film rights on this one yet... When are we going to quit screwing around with these unfortunate bugs? It's bad enough the little dudes only live a few hours, now they have to spend their last remaining seconds figuring out their gender identity.http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/06/freakin-friday-softcore-surfin.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111781223650868463Fri, 03 Jun 2005 15:23:00 +00002005-06-03T08:23:56.513-07:00Kim Il Jong Palace, NORTH KOREA-- in a statement hasitly released this morning, North Korea's President for Life, Kim Il Jong said his statement yesterday was grossly mistranslated. "Commander Il Jong was refering to Mr. Cheney's thirst for Budweiser beer, not blood," said a spokesperson for Il Jong. "Ever since this 'Team America' crap, the Commander has seen his words twisted every which way." http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/06/lost-in-translation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111699270234882657Wed, 25 May 2005 03:20:00 +00002005-05-24T20:45:02.360-07:00In a rare personable meeting, Senator Bill Frist discretely hands his testicles to Democrat Harry Reid. Reid acknowledged, "It's good to have Bill's balls where I want them. I would have preferred he shaved them first, but I can't be too choosy.""I just hope he takes good care of them," said Frist. "After all, he doesn't have much experience with owning a pair. Pelosi, yes, but Harry?"Senator http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/testicular-hand-off-ends-partisan.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111670495344551794Sat, 21 May 2005 19:48:00 +00002005-05-21T12:49:13.450-07:00Official SpokesModel for Captain America Underooshttp://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/saddam-signs-lucrative-deal-with-hanes.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111663225245022680Fri, 20 May 2005 23:35:00 +00002005-05-20T16:37:32.453-07:00When opening your pool for the summer, sprinkle liberally with chlorine, suck algae out carefully, wear a hazmat suit. Now you're ready to begin opening the pool. Can water really smell this funky and NOT kill you?http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/summer-tips.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111634444115439225Tue, 17 May 2005 15:31:00 +00002005-05-17T08:40:41.160-07:00Boston, MA - Harvard president Larry Summers has taken on a new $50 million make-over after being roundly criticized for his comments on the differences between men and women. "How could I have been so wrong? Do you know how simply divine a full silk blouse feels against your skin?" he asked reporters, modelling his latest threads. The multi-million dollar wardrobe also includes fully redundant http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/summers-simmers-in-new-sultry-threads.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111626405173759179Mon, 16 May 2005 17:17:00 +00002005-05-16T10:20:51.740-07:00Michelle has a honkin' horde o' link on this story...http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/michelle-has-honkin-horde-o-link-on.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111600640283464198Fri, 13 May 2005 17:45:00 +00002005-05-13T10:46:42.836-07:00Washington, D.C.- In addition to advocating the closing of 33 military bases across the U.S., Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced the government would close the entire state of Arkansas as well. "We'll save millions. And most people living their won't notice a damned thing," added the Secretary. The Pentagon said in a related statement that this was a forward-looking project. "We http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/rumsfeld-closes-arkansas.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111600563333863288Fri, 13 May 2005 17:32:00 +00002005-05-13T13:34:38.810-07:00The nose knows...FDA enters sperm-regulation business.As they say, art can make you truly immortal...Woody Allen + 'sexy movie' = yuck!!! I'm thinkin' Tobasco sauce isn't a good idea either...http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/freakin-friday-softcore-surfin.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111599277465372280Fri, 13 May 2005 13:48:00 +00002005-05-13T06:59:34.656-07:00AP- New York, NY- Holding a press conference at the Juliard School of Music in New York, the Rolling Stones announced their 'Start Me Up' 2005 tour. Mick Jagger, perennial rocker for the the world's oldest rock 'n roll band, said they are using the tour to introduce their 'Start Me Up' Rolling Stones at-home defibrillator."Charlie's used this bugger about six or seven times last year," said Mick,http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/start-me-up-tour.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111573430378192282Tue, 10 May 2005 14:07:00 +00002005-05-10T07:23:34.036-07:00"I mean, c'mon," said Dr. Frank Medalius, zoology professer at Rutgers. "If God were a hands-on Creationist kinda guy, would He ever allow this creature to suck air?...unless He were on 'shrooms or something. Then all bets are off."http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/butt-ugly-lemur-proves-darwins-theory.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111573331285602065Tue, 10 May 2005 13:52:00 +00002005-05-10T06:57:32.496-07:00AP - MOSCOW - In a move to further dispirit the former Soviet Union, President Bush test-fired a hand-held SDI on the streets of Moscow as Vladimir Putin and wife looked on. The powerful laser only took out an Indian telecommunications satellite dedicated to providing telephone support for Dell Computers, however.http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/bush-test-fires-hand-held-sdi.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111539147326450029Fri, 06 May 2005 14:05:00 +00002005-05-06T07:57:53.270-07:00 I know some people who have lived their whole stinkin' lives like this. But, dude! What'll we do for BREAKFAST then? I don't know about your kid, but mine would leave his draped over a chair in the library then run out to wreak havoc on the neighborhood. Better than scattering your ashes off a mountaintop? What's raising our IQ scores? I just know it isn't Rosie O'Donnell video-epics...http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/weird-science.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111538607449912638Fri, 06 May 2005 13:17:00 +00002005-05-06T06:27:54.633-07:00So I wake up to the dog puking on the carpet... Again. (Eating too many grass clippings.)...my son complaining that I'm packing him a corned beef sandwich for the third day in a row for lunch... this cold, a virus created in the bowels of Hades itself with the resolve and fortitude of an Amway distributor, clings to every mucous membrane in my head...I forgot to sign the damned field trip http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/perspective.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111521517490994711Wed, 04 May 2005 13:33:00 +00002005-05-05T19:31:08.946-07:00Here are questions from the test:If an English metaphysical poet has dinner with a South American fabulist novelist, who should pick up the check?In Don Delillo's Libra is Lee Harvey Oswald an atypical anti-hero or just gay?True or False: Russell Bank's Trailer Park is a post-modern Canterbury Tales for folks tired of non-standard Middle-English gibberish spoken by populist http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/05/light-blogging-as-i-give-final-exams.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111478808464274200Fri, 29 Apr 2005 15:14:00 +00002005-04-29T08:25:20.860-07:00...to clip my toenails. I'm going on a date tonight with my fiancée. And while we're on the topic, you might want to take off your socks in your cubicle right now and check your own. Couldn't hurt.http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/04/someone-remind-me-later.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111478742691248595Fri, 29 Apr 2005 14:32:00 +00002005-04-29T08:25:07.083-07:00Gives a fresh meaning to the term 'Adult Education.'Vote your preference for 'Lusty Lieutenants' at Texas Best Grok.I thought the thrill was when you tried to pull this whole thing off crammed into a lavatory the size of a shoe box with the faucet jammed into your backside?I know I've always liked petite women.Sometimes those Llama Butchers ask some very stoopid questions.A lot of guys will see http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/04/freakin-friday-softcore-surfin_29.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111470813879320822Thu, 28 Apr 2005 17:05:00 +00002005-04-28T10:08:58.793-07:00According to Cecil's Straight Dope:Dear Cecil:Is it true that Thomas Edison's last breath is preserved in a test tube at the Henry Ford Museum outside Detroit? --Listener, Mike Murphy show, KCMO radio, Kansas City, MissouriCecil replies:What's with you guys in KC? Einstein's brain wasn't enough? As a matter of fact, Edison's last breath is preserved at the Henry Ford Museum, after a fashion. Fordhttp://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/04/historical-halitosis.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111465797381765252Thu, 28 Apr 2005 02:54:00 +00002005-04-27T20:12:53.820-07:00According to Teddy:"...top officials in the Administration have endorsed interrogation methods that we've condemned in other countries, including binding prisoners in painful "stress" positions, threatening them with dogs, extended sleep deprivation, and simulated drownings1."1. As opposed to the real deal.http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/04/hes-lizard-king-he-can-say-anything.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-111461668753046793Wed, 27 Apr 2005 15:44:00 +00002005-04-27T16:47:52.253-07:00http://profshade.blogspot.com/2005/04/european-a380-airbus-lifts-off.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ProfShade)0