tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94165072011-04-21T18:25:46.178-07:00Come for the pornography, stay for the footnotesProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.comBlogger2441100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1119632351330617172005-06-24T09:58:00.000-07:002005-06-24T10:01:38.870-07:00

Britney Spears nude photo shoot? And pregnant? And how will the child feel about this once he/she is in high school? And does Demi Moore get any retro-credit? All I can say is anything that puts the chill on ratemyboobies.com is probably a bad, censorous thing. Just make sure all pics are accompanied with a visible, valid driver's license. Don't tell our mascot Suzie, but big busts are going

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1119367407866749992005-06-21T08:23:00.000-07:002005-06-21T08:23:27.870-07:00

In the wake of Saddam Hussein's lucrative Hanes Underoos pictorial in the London Mirror, the former dictator has now racked up a bevy of new product placements in his Iraqi jail cell. Look for Doritos, Raisin Bran Crunch and Cheetos to capitalize on the latest Saddam fever sweeping marketing circles."If it's good enough for a deposed, mass-murdering dictator, it's good enough for me and my

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1118977066245750592005-06-16T19:57:00.000-07:002005-06-16T19:57:46.253-07:00

I don't think this is what we had in mind when we signed NAFTA... ...and she only got 30 days? Stupidity alone would dictate a year behind bars. They're so starved for a good meal, it is consuming them.... But what if you prefer quantity over quality??? That's when you dig into the Jennifer Garner files, I guess. This is NO JOKE; it can't be...it's in Norwegian...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1118944454744669822005-06-16T10:54:00.000-07:002005-06-16T10:54:14.746-07:00

OK, so now it seems that any social cause at all is reason to flaunt your nude body in public. The latest is the World Naked Bike Ride to protest the dependence on fossil fuel. (Warning, may not be safe for work...)So I can see riding bikes in protest of oil. Makes aesthetic sense. But nude bike riding? C'mon. According to the site (of course they have a site!) "We face automobile traffic with

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1118944383478233792005-06-16T10:52:00.000-07:002005-06-16T10:53:03.483-07:00

This survey done by AP-IPSOS has Hollywood's silk undies in a bundle, and for good reason. A few facts: 69% feel Hollywood actors make poor role models 47% think movies are getting worse A whopping 77% would rather watch at home than go to the theaterWith a 6500% (that's right 6 thousand 5 hundred!) markup on popcorn, a 2500% markup on soda and 8-10 dollar ticket prices, can you blame us? Not to

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1117814027361073752005-06-03T08:42:00.000-07:002005-06-03T08:53:47.366-07:00

Perv 54 Where Are You? Brothel Museum Heist: Wild West Dildos Missing Giving new meaning to the term 'in the closet.' I wonder if anyone has the film rights on this one yet... When are we going to quit screwing around with these unfortunate bugs? It's bad enough the little dudes only live a few hours, now they have to spend their last remaining seconds figuring out their gender identity.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1117812236508684632005-06-03T08:23:00.000-07:002005-06-03T08:23:56.513-07:00

Kim Il Jong Palace, NORTH KOREA-- in a statement hasitly released this morning, North Korea's President for Life, Kim Il Jong said his statement yesterday was grossly mistranslated. "Commander Il Jong was refering to Mr. Cheney's thirst for Budweiser beer, not blood," said a spokesperson for Il Jong. "Ever since this 'Team America' crap, the Commander has seen his words twisted every which way."

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1116992702348826572005-05-24T20:20:00.000-07:002005-05-24T20:45:02.360-07:00

In a rare personable meeting, Senator Bill Frist discretely hands his testicles to Democrat Harry Reid. Reid acknowledged, "It's good to have Bill's balls where I want them. I would have preferred he shaved them first, but I can't be too choosy.""I just hope he takes good care of them," said Frist. "After all, he doesn't have much experience with owning a pair. Pelosi, yes, but Harry?"Senator

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1116704953445517942005-05-21T12:48:00.000-07:002005-05-21T12:49:13.450-07:00

Official SpokesModel for Captain America Underoos

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1116632252450226802005-05-20T16:35:00.000-07:002005-05-20T16:37:32.453-07:00

When opening your pool for the summer, sprinkle liberally with chlorine, suck algae out carefully, wear a hazmat suit. Now you're ready to begin opening the pool. Can water really smell this funky and NOT kill you?

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1116344441154392252005-05-17T08:31:00.000-07:002005-05-17T08:40:41.160-07:00

Boston, MA - Harvard president Larry Summers has taken on a new $50 million make-over after being roundly criticized for his comments on the differences between men and women. "How could I have been so wrong? Do you know how simply divine a full silk blouse feels against your skin?" he asked reporters, modelling his latest threads. The multi-million dollar wardrobe also includes fully redundant

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1116264051737591792005-05-16T10:17:00.000-07:002005-05-16T10:20:51.740-07:00

Michelle has a honkin' horde o' link on this story...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1116006402834641982005-05-13T10:45:00.000-07:002005-05-13T10:46:42.836-07:00

Washington, D.C.- In addition to advocating the closing of 33 military bases across the U.S., Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced the government would close the entire state of Arkansas as well. "We'll save millions. And most people living their won't notice a damned thing," added the Secretary. The Pentagon said in a related statement that this was a forward-looking project. "We

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1116005633338632882005-05-13T10:32:00.000-07:002005-05-13T13:34:38.810-07:00

The nose knows...FDA enters sperm-regulation business.As they say, art can make you truly immortal...Woody Allen + 'sexy movie' = yuck!!! I'm thinkin' Tobasco sauce isn't a good idea either...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1115992774653722802005-05-13T06:48:00.000-07:002005-05-13T06:59:34.656-07:00

AP- New York, NY- Holding a press conference at the Juliard School of Music in New York, the Rolling Stones announced their 'Start Me Up' 2005 tour. Mick Jagger, perennial rocker for the the world's oldest rock 'n roll band, said they are using the tour to introduce their 'Start Me Up' Rolling Stones at-home defibrillator."Charlie's used this bugger about six or seven times last year," said Mick,

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1115734303781922822005-05-10T07:07:00.000-07:002005-05-10T07:23:34.036-07:00

"I mean, c'mon," said Dr. Frank Medalius, zoology professer at Rutgers. "If God were a hands-on Creationist kinda guy, would He ever allow this creature to suck air?...unless He were on 'shrooms or something. Then all bets are off."

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1115733312856020652005-05-10T06:52:00.000-07:002005-05-10T06:57:32.496-07:00

AP - MOSCOW - In a move to further dispirit the former Soviet Union, President Bush test-fired a hand-held SDI on the streets of Moscow as Vladimir Putin and wife looked on. The powerful laser only took out an Indian telecommunications satellite dedicated to providing telephone support for Dell Computers, however.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1115391473264500292005-05-06T07:05:00.000-07:002005-05-06T07:57:53.270-07:00

I know some people who have lived their whole stinkin' lives like this. But, dude! What'll we do for BREAKFAST then? I don't know about your kid, but mine would leave his draped over a chair in the library then run out to wreak havoc on the neighborhood. Better than scattering your ashes off a mountaintop? What's raising our IQ scores? I just know it isn't Rosie O'Donnell video-epics...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1115386074499126382005-05-06T06:17:00.000-07:002005-05-06T06:27:54.633-07:00

So I wake up to the dog puking on the carpet... Again. (Eating too many grass clippings.)...my son complaining that I'm packing him a corned beef sandwich for the third day in a row for lunch... this cold, a virus created in the bowels of Hades itself with the resolve and fortitude of an Amway distributor, clings to every mucous membrane in my head...I forgot to sign the damned field trip

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1115215174909947112005-05-04T06:33:00.000-07:002005-05-05T19:31:08.946-07:00

Here are questions from the test:If an English metaphysical poet has dinner with a South American fabulist novelist, who should pick up the check?In Don Delillo's Libra is Lee Harvey Oswald an atypical anti-hero or just gay?True or False: Russell Bank's Trailer Park is a post-modern Canterbury Tales for folks tired of non-standard Middle-English gibberish spoken by populist

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114788084642742002005-04-29T08:14:00.000-07:002005-04-29T08:25:20.860-07:00

...to clip my toenails. I'm going on a date tonight with my fiancée. And while we're on the topic, you might want to take off your socks in your cubicle right now and check your own. Couldn't hurt.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114787426912485952005-04-29T07:32:00.000-07:002005-04-29T08:25:07.083-07:00

Gives a fresh meaning to the term 'Adult Education.'Vote your preference for 'Lusty Lieutenants' at Texas Best Grok.I thought the thrill was when you tried to pull this whole thing off crammed into a lavatory the size of a shoe box with the faucet jammed into your backside?I know I've always liked petite women.Sometimes those Llama Butchers ask some very stoopid questions.A lot of guys will see

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114708138793208222005-04-28T10:05:00.000-07:002005-04-28T10:08:58.793-07:00

According to Cecil's Straight Dope:Dear Cecil:Is it true that Thomas Edison's last breath is preserved in a test tube at the Henry Ford Museum outside Detroit? --Listener, Mike Murphy show, KCMO radio, Kansas City, MissouriCecil replies:What's with you guys in KC? Einstein's brain wasn't enough? As a matter of fact, Edison's last breath is preserved at the Henry Ford Museum, after a fashion. Ford

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114657973817652522005-04-27T19:54:00.000-07:002005-04-27T20:12:53.820-07:00

According to Teddy:"...top officials in the Administration have endorsed interrogation methods that we've condemned in other countries, including binding prisoners in painful "stress" positions, threatening them with dogs, extended sleep deprivation, and simulated drownings1."1. As opposed to the real deal.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114616687530467932005-04-27T08:44:00.000-07:002005-04-27T16:47:52.253-07:00

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114528531410475772005-04-26T08:08:00.000-07:002005-04-26T08:15:31.410-07:00

Seems email and instant messaging are all lowering your IQ. Reading this blog is undoubtedly dropping it by 20-30 points, at least. Research shows you should put down the keyboard and enter a 12-step program. Step away from the Blackberry.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114432854158129762005-04-25T05:31:00.000-07:002005-04-25T05:40:54.160-07:00

Seems busy beavers in Congress are out to make sure free speech is allowed on the Internet. Hooray! Free speech! Novel concept. Very progressive. Imagine, being able to go online and say whatever the fuck you want without the police busting down your door or, worse, slapping you with ridiculous electioneering fines and lawsuits. What a country.Legistlation is like weeds. You gotta whack away at

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114178752418279482005-04-22T06:44:00.000-07:002005-04-22T07:05:52.420-07:00

Need help with your woman? Here's a handy scoresheet reference guide. A new holiday...of sorts... God wants you to have good sex. Who am I to argue? Let's just hope this doesn't spill over into the food court... I wonder if this guy is hiring research assistants?

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114088709106083512005-04-21T05:40:00.000-07:002005-04-21T07:23:59.783-07:00

Panel Calls NASA for ExpertiseWASHINGTON -- House Ethics Committee Chairman 'Doc' Hastings has proposed a probe of Congressman Tom DeLay of Texas. "Listen, we could dig around in his shorts all day long and not find what we're after," said Hastings in a Capitol Hill press conference yesterday, "but it's time to take a bold new approach and drill down on this issue." Hastings, in an unprecedented

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1114085358152327532005-04-21T05:04:00.000-07:002005-04-21T05:09:18.153-07:00

...there...what a tremendous relief to get that off my 'to-do' list...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1113923636786774582005-04-19T07:31:00.000-07:002005-04-19T08:13:56.786-07:00

It was always about this time of year-- one day in early to late Spring-- that my grammar school hallways would fill with the smell of steaming buns and boiling hot dogs. At lunch we'd line up for Oscar Meyer hot dogs, twenty-five cents a piece, then filter out onto the playground and wait for the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile to arrive. Lil' Oscar would jump out, wave to the crowd of nitrate-bloated

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1113838600120400972005-04-18T08:23:00.000-07:002005-04-21T06:39:25.893-07:00

I arrived home from an out-of-town assignation with my fiancée to find my computer had mysteriously reset itself to the Central American GMT time zone. I have no logical explanation for this. It is spooky. One can only assume this is some kind of portent that I am disinclined to mess around with.As a result, the rest of the day I will wear espadrilles, eat plantains and extol the virtues of the

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1113837523309267482005-04-18T07:24:00.000-07:002005-04-18T08:19:33.430-07:00

John McCain may run for President in '08, but aren't you glad he wasn't Commander in Chief during the Cold War? No doubt he'd have tipped his hand right after inauguration and said, "Nukes? Naw, we'll never use 'em." Lapses like his make me wonder he isn't the real Manchurian Candidate. Still, no word from Barbara Boxer whether she'll swap a supra-majority vote on justices for a re-written

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1113575802396070582005-04-15T06:57:00.000-07:002005-04-15T13:39:59.433-07:00

And all this time, you thought comic books were safe?Feathers-- a maligned and much overlooked pastime.Possibilities? Endless....A much sweeter alternative to the silicon-versus-saline breast implant controversy. Finally! Worthwhile history... (h/t Itsapundit)

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1113490390331542012005-04-14T05:43:00.000-07:002005-04-14T07:53:10.333-07:00

I'm getting bored with politics. There have been no new scandals in months, Ted Kennedy hasn't uttered one stupid, public syllable in weeks and aside from Kofi Annan, everything is going just so damned well in the world these days. Enough to make a blogger feel ill. Sure, I could get my boxer-briefs in a twist over social cons versus neo cons, Tom Delay's hijinks or even whether the Wonkette has

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1113316456327863862005-04-12T07:33:00.000-07:002005-04-12T07:34:16.326-07:00

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112968746789950762005-04-08T06:59:00.000-07:002005-04-08T07:00:47.540-07:00

What rymes with orange?Ink blot test: What do you see?Any bets on how few dates this guy gets?Instructive video for women who have difficulties controlling those urges...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112680033596947862005-04-04T22:32:00.000-07:002005-04-29T08:32:03.200-07:00

An astounding discovery of cosmic proportions has been made in the wake of the horrific Asian tsunami that has killed more than 150,000 men, women and children. Weekly World News has learned from a respected scientific source that rescuers searching for survivors of the December 26 monster wave stumbled across a UFO half buried in the beach on Hong Island, a remote isle off the coast of Thailand.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112679066082123072005-04-04T22:26:00.000-07:002005-04-04T23:14:21.026-07:00

...he'd jam a laudanum feeding tube down his throat while throwing empty gin bottles at his TV showing an endless loop of Jon Stewart's Daily Show. Then he might die. Again.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112677017935389302005-04-04T21:46:00.000-07:002005-04-04T21:59:40.410-07:00

michael jackson porn horde...jane fonda pastrami humping...nude camel riding whores...debbie gibson extremely nude...jeff gannon jeff gannon jeff gannon scott mcclellan slut...debbie gibson humping jane fonda...sean hannity meanage-a-trois...midget fuck fest...whores riding nude camels...nude debbie gibson pastrami gannon...dick cheney pastrami humping michael jackson on extremely nude WMD...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112674463944962212005-04-04T21:12:00.000-07:002005-04-04T22:08:18.183-07:00

We Want Poems We Can UnderstandIf a monkey drives a cardown a colonnade facing the seaand the palm trees to the left are tinwe don't understand it.We want poems we can understand.We want a god to lead us,renaming the flowers and trees,color-coding the scene,doing bird calls for guests.We want poems we can understand,no sullen drunks making passesnext to an armadillo, no complex

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112657091362997402005-04-04T16:21:00.000-07:002005-04-04T16:24:51.363-07:00

As the symbolic white smoke rises from the papal chimney signifying the election of the new pontiff, Georgio, sitting in Vatican Square, swears he smells an Arby's Market-Fresh BLT.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112622721514386942005-04-04T06:51:00.000-07:002005-04-04T06:52:01.516-07:00

Pat Sajak will be selected Pope after ten ballots. Fine print in the U.N. Oil-for-Food report reveals that among the 3,000 documents 'mistakenly' shredded last year were Kofi Annan's condominium by-laws, the lease on his limited edition Hummer 2 and his employment contract with the U.N. Syria's Assad will be drafted by the Chicago Bulls, thereby ending the stalemate in Lebanon and solving the

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112619154607278872005-04-04T05:52:00.000-07:002005-04-04T05:54:30.733-07:00

Only exposed one breast at a time in Barbarella The anti-aircraft gun wasn't functional at the time Most Vietnamese didn't have a freakin' clue who the hell she was Had to return helmet Couldn't talk Turner into Sunday Morning CNN show 'Disgrace the Nation' Work-out tapes never made it to DVD More threesomes would have meant more book sales

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112200104815195112005-03-30T08:27:00.000-08:002005-03-30T08:28:24.816-08:00

VATICAN CITY — Pope John Paul II is getting nutrition from a tube in his nose, the Vatican said Wednesday, shortly after the frail pontiff appeared at his window in St. Peter's Square and managed only a rasp when he tried to speak. _________A Vatican spokesman went on to assert emphatically that Michael Schiavo is not the Pope's legal guardian despite wide-spread rumors in the media.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112164835154951412005-03-29T22:35:00.000-08:002005-03-29T22:40:35.156-08:00

I just rolled back my chair from the desk and heard a repeated, annoying squeak-squeak-squeak only to find I'd rolled over the neck of a diminutive, three-inch Norwegian field mouse. It took me three swats from a rolled-up issue of Reason Magazine to put it out of its misery. Yeah, there's lots of symbolism there, along with the splotch of mouse death throe puke left on the carpet. But living

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112162347661166202005-03-29T21:58:00.000-08:002005-03-29T21:59:07.663-08:00

Jesse Jackson's a busy boy; after a radio interview with Michael Jackson, he held a prayer for Terri with the Schindlers. Stange bedfellows? Don't go there, on any level, in either scenario. You'll go blind.Kofi Annan says 'hell no' to suggestions he'll resign from the U.N. The way he sees it, only a firing will yield a generous severance package and a lucrative made-for-Al-Jazeera mini-series.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1112021670345575062005-03-28T06:54:00.000-08:002005-03-28T20:56:15.123-08:00

Please put down your business plans and step away from your next start-up. Who the hell needs another dot.com portal for travel or yet another spam blocker? We are in desperate need of energetic, thoughtful individuals with a keen eye toward training and challenging our next generation. You'll have to give up long hours, ulcers, recalcitrant investors and board members, threats of bankruptcy and

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1111646541702152602005-03-23T22:41:00.000-08:002005-03-23T22:43:16.903-08:00

Say it with flair, say it with panache, write it in blood!

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1111641604592356722005-03-23T21:19:00.000-08:002005-03-23T21:20:04.593-08:00

That lovable little scamp at the U.N. is up to more fun. How does U.N. reform sound? Kofi provides some 'suggestions' here. But Mr. Annan missed these: Limiting Security Council membership to countries with standing, effective militaries, with the understanding these member armies will be used if the Council votes for intervention. Eliminate all U.N. voting privelages to countries that do not

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1111641406834465072005-03-23T21:13:00.000-08:002005-04-04T23:20:02.466-07:00

In case you missed it, Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities has a great round-up of the world-wide protests against the Iraq War. By all estimates it was a resounding flop. My favorite sign? 'Support the Right to Resistance in Iraq.' About 100,000 dead and buried Iraqis tried that over the years, if I recall.And you are seeing that correctly. The woman above has her middle finger painted purple. Where

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1111471784368476492005-03-21T22:09:00.000-08:002005-03-21T22:54:58.203-08:00

With all the Schiavo angst in the air we're scrunched a tad closer on the lumpy sofa of life to our own mortality, and I think that's what raises the hairs on the backs of our necks. That and a good tongue in the ear. So of course we think about these dilemmas in personal terms. Speaking for myself, and going over the laminated 'Rules' card I keep in my wallet, that's the only person I'm

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1111122981796788352005-03-17T21:16:00.000-08:002005-03-17T21:19:37.216-08:00

*** EDITOR'S NOTE: Got dissed last week on my choice of accompanying graphics for this feature. I hope the new and improved iconic representation of this regular entry is more to our audience's liking.*** Holy penis! What a scoop!!! Nude Underwater Bike Association...wouldn't just one of these activities be enough? Arkansas tres chic lingerie. Prescription for masturbation? Haunted underwear...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1110987773500407652005-03-16T07:42:00.000-08:002005-03-16T07:42:53.500-08:00

A surprise award ceremony at Rosen's Deli in lower Manhattan has netted Michael Moore yet another award. "I just ordered my usual-- a double tongue sandwich with kraut, three orders of fries and a two liter bottle of Shasta, and they also handed me this," said an astonished Moore. "I can really feel the love from my peers."

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1110834728083030132005-03-14T13:11:00.000-08:002005-03-14T13:12:08.086-08:00

Do something about the stinky-ass rental shoes first! Oh great. NYC's last 'cheap eat' is near extinction. 'When Harry Met Sally' goes mobile.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1110814900371293102005-03-14T07:40:00.000-08:002005-03-14T07:41:40.373-08:00

"It really is insufferable," bemoaned Mohamed Al-elat, 19, bomber-in-training. "You pack on the explosives, you walk through the hot noon-day sun, and there it is. You can't climb it, especially with all this gear." He went on to say many bombers are forced to walk miles out of their way to find an opening in the barrier before slipping through.Kofi Annan, after meeting with Palestinian

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1110559756323403812005-03-11T08:48:00.000-08:002005-03-11T08:49:16.330-08:00

For your bladder's sake, make up your freakin' mind already. Hurry! Go vote for Scully!TexasBestGrok screwed up last week's poll on Fox's Foxes. Vote early and often, please. BleachEatingFreaks has photo evidence of the first remote control ever invented. Coming soon! A topless Britney Spears in Allure.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1110411082449463862005-03-09T15:30:00.000-08:002005-03-09T15:31:22.450-08:00

Blogging and Sterility George Soros: Man or Myth? Diebold: Greek For 'Theft' The Scam of Typography On Location: Texas Rodeo Up Close and Personal: an Interview with Elvis Presley

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1110388567163531362005-03-09T09:15:00.000-08:002005-03-09T09:16:07.170-08:00

William Smith, convicted of raping and killing a woman, was put to death today by lethal injection when his appeal on the grounds of mental instability was rejected by the Ohio Supreme Court. He requested a last meal of Doritos and a Pepsi. Based on his last meal menu selection alone, the higher court could have been mistaken on the 'mental instability' plea according to ACLU observers.300,000

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109878388544455092005-03-03T11:31:00.000-08:002005-03-03T11:33:08.563-08:00

[Catch up with Episode 1 here: The Birth of a Cabal]Part Two: The Secret Significance of Cigars, Bauxite and Milton Berle1948-19521948-Stalin runs out of cigars, and when Eisenhower refuses to send a fresh box of Macanudos, the puppet Russian leader, out of spite, sends Communism Starter Kits to China and Korea, but forgets to include pledge cards or gulags. Meanwhile, Truman signs the Marshall

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109647620848870682005-02-28T19:27:00.000-08:002005-02-28T19:29:49.576-08:00

We're the warm, sweet Vermont syrup to their flat, lying, absorbant pancakes! EEEEWWWWWWWEEEEERRRRRAAGHHHHH!!!!!!!"

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109646367353433162005-02-28T19:06:00.000-08:002005-02-28T19:07:16.203-08:00

The latest hilarious hijinks at the U.N. are an indication that:Kofi Annan needs videocassette sales kickbacks to maintain his meager NYC lifestyle and Central Park condominium.Who needs oil bribes when you can get child pornography?Mr. Annan has grown weary of picking his teeth with the finger bones of slaughtered baby Darfur refugees after a dinner of corn-fed Iowa beef at Ruth's Chris

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109387995363549702005-02-25T19:19:00.000-08:002005-02-25T19:19:55.370-08:00

Part One: The Birth of a Cabal1943 – It began in the final days of World War II. Eisenhower, commandeering Der Furher’s suicide bunker in Berlin, uses a garlic press to extract sperm from Adolph Hitler’s remaining testicle and smuggles the smut to U.S. military scientists in King of Prussia, PA. A dozen unsuspecting war widows are impregnated during routine gynecological exams throughout the

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109346002464906122005-02-25T07:39:00.000-08:002005-02-25T07:40:02.466-08:00

Time magazine next week has an adoring piece on everyone's most 'huggable' liberal, Ted Kennedy. Remember: he is the lizard king, he can say anything...On dealing with President Bush: "We're in some areas of confrontation, but my own sense is that this president knows how to work with Democrats. He worked with Democrats in Texas. I worked with him on No Child Left Behind." On Senate Majority

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109345954557688802005-02-25T07:38:00.000-08:002005-02-25T07:39:14.560-08:00

With the unprecedented success of its investigative report into the UFO phenomenon, ABC News' Peter Jennings threw down the gauntlet this morning in a candid discussion with LLP."We're a real news organization. We have standards. We have high principles and a thorough understanding of solid journalism," Jennings said, smoothing out a sheet of tin foil on his desk. "Hey, we didn't have any decent

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109258095813475312005-02-24T07:14:00.000-08:002005-02-24T07:17:53.013-08:00

Bush hangs in Belgium, Bush meets with France.He don't give an inch to the Euro-weenie dance.They talk the big talk, but walk the pussy walk,Bribery, Boondoggle, pacifism hypno-trance.Chirac's a back stab, Schroeder needs a bitch slap.Bush shakes hands and smiles through their phony crap.Euro trash gonna crash when their state run outta cash.Socialism, Sissyism, mullahs snuggle in their laps.Yo

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109170293711670592005-02-23T06:51:00.000-08:002005-02-23T06:51:33.713-08:00

"If they'd asked me, I would have said 'don't bother,'" signed Koko, the world's chattiest, sign-language gorilla. "I mean, have you ever seen Kendra in a tight sweater? The chic looks like a laundry bag stuffed with old gym shoes. Now that Gillian Anderson chic. She needs to get her tight buns in here quick and drop some top."

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109164983114495802005-02-23T05:22:00.000-08:002005-02-23T05:23:03.116-08:00

Mark Silva, Chicago Tribune reports on another aspect of Bush's Euro-vacation:The president's confidence also stems from the achievement of a long-elusive agreement by the 26 members of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization this week to support, in at least some small way, rebuilding Iraq.This includes 10 NATO nations that abstained from the "coalition of the willing" that the U.S. assembled for

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1109045642861491102005-02-21T20:12:00.000-08:002005-02-21T20:37:16.230-08:00

Wead: So let's get back to this drug thing, here, George--Bush: Doug, we covered that. I wanted to talk to you about mobilizing the vote in the primaries, and -- Wead: Marijuana, George. It might come down to that. And firing gays. Are you telling me there are no circumstances under which you'd fire gays?Bush: Doug, like I said, we're all sinners, who am I to judge another man's life? So on the

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108735914906591512005-02-18T06:11:00.000-08:002005-02-18T06:11:54.910-08:00

TexasBest Grok is running a sci-fi babes poll, but WTF, no Gillian Anderson??? I demand write in votes!!!h/t Llama ButchersNerf-coated World wants you to caption some 'mullah love.'protein wisdom poll: bang Jane Skinner or Shepard Smith?And finally, if you're going to ask out that special someone on a date tonight, better watch this public service video from Gorilla Mask first.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108660984647374622005-02-17T09:22:00.000-08:002005-02-17T09:23:04.653-08:00

ALBANY, N.Y. - AP - Howard Dean, the new chairman of the Democratic National Committee, called on the head of New York's Republican Party to apologize or resign Wednesday over remarks linking the Democrats to a civil rights lawyer convicted of aiding terrorists. Dean called Stephen Minarik's comments offensive, and said, "The American people deserve better than this type of political character

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108532065901344862005-02-15T21:33:00.000-08:002005-02-15T21:34:25.903-08:00

Given its name, it will carry no missiles or torpedoes...it's sole mission? Calling on all major foreign ports apologizing for being an attack sub...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108486651425398522005-02-15T08:56:00.000-08:002005-02-15T08:57:31.426-08:00

From the Daily Kos1 by Sue in NH:I'm a republican. I'm a Christian. You are either a heathen, a raghead Muslim, or the wrong kind of Christian. Fuck you.I'm a republican. I'm going to heaven and you're going to hell. Fuck you.I'm a republican. It is not only my right, it's my duty to spread freedom and democracy around the world. If you don't understand that, Fuck you.I'm a republican. I have a

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108424120472734522005-02-14T15:34:00.000-08:002005-02-14T15:35:20.476-08:00

It seems like not a special day on the calendar can escape the ravages of politics from the right or left. Valentine's Day is the latest victim. There will be coordinated attacks on this sugar-sweet Hallmark holiday today with nationwide protests for gay marriage (the Left) and abstinence (the Right). It's too late to say 'get a grip.' No turning back now. As soon as we designate a day as '

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108330265359143432005-02-13T13:30:00.000-08:002005-02-13T13:31:05.363-08:00

Lefty Blogosphere Mobilized to 'Out' al-Jazeera Journalists"After we posted a statement (claiming responsibility) ... we found that Al-Jazeera tried to alter the facts and attributed to us (something) we didn't say," said the statement that appeared on an Internet site used as a clearing house for extremist Islamic material."We didn't say in our statement that we targeted the mosque, but that we

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108157635121580802005-02-11T13:04:00.000-08:002005-02-11T13:37:15.620-08:00

The PhysicsGeek has the low-down on some mighty bad lowdown. Remember guys, always smile and say 'yes.' Come to think of it, maybe this guy only needs one of 'em anyway.Bill at INDCJournal has hot picks of Andrew Sullivan attempting to grope the Wonkette's left breast, then wondering why...Glenn Reynolds supervises.Paul at Wizbang wants Debbie Gibson naked. Duh.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108137698697908282005-02-11T07:59:00.000-08:002005-02-11T08:01:38.700-08:00

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108135182288212202005-02-11T06:32:00.000-08:002005-02-11T08:16:12.846-08:00

Lynne F. Stewart, an outspoken lawyer known for representing a long list of unpopular defendants, was convicted yesterday by a federal jury in Manhattan of aiding Islamic terrorism by smuggling messages out of jail from a terrorist client.In a startlingly sweeping verdict, Ms. Stewart was convicted on all five counts of providing material aid to terrorism and of lying to the government when she

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108053779592654142005-02-10T08:39:00.000-08:002005-02-10T08:48:52.996-08:00

Before my private life is publicly 'outed' at the Daily Kos due to my political affiliations, I felt it prudent though painful to fully disclose my sexual and secret Internet activities before it became an onerous embarrassment to my fellow bloggers at Lifelike Pundits. Here wit: I harbor an intense and unhealthy fascination with Gillian Anderson and have been forcibly removed from the gates

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108048220197766462005-02-10T06:17:00.000-08:002005-02-10T07:10:20.196-08:00

Heart-shaped pita filled with organic humus Donation to PETA, in your lover's pet's name Romantic card on acid-free, 75% recycled card stock. You know, the stiff, flecked-with-dog-feces looking paper that smells like old gym socks Breakfast in bed: carrot juice, stone-ground, whole wheat toast, a yummy strawberry-tofu spread A solemn promise to buy tickets to 'Les Miserables' the next time it

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1108044989422814252005-02-10T06:11:00.000-08:002005-02-10T06:16:29.423-08:00

Prof 1: She threatened them. She did. It was unbelievable. Prof 2: It figures. They'll never learn. Prof 3: (approaching) Who said what? Prof 1: Rice. The Nazi. Threatened Iran. Said they'd better get rid of their nuclear weapons now. Or else. Prof 3: (shaking head) How many more dead by this time next year? Prof 1: Disgusting. Prof 2: Arrogant. Prof 3: Fascists. Hope the pick-up truck crowd is

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107983824444165462005-02-09T13:16:00.000-08:002005-02-09T13:17:04.446-08:00

Entries of note... Ace of Spades HQ would like a transcript/recording of CNN's Eason Jordan comments in Switzerland last week where he accused U.S. soldiers of purposefully targeting journalists. And Ace has an pretty good idea how to get it done... Jeff at Beautiful Atrocities takes a ridiculous Babs Streisand idea and stretches it to hilarious extremes...but then we already knew Babs was

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107841423953249812005-02-07T21:43:00.000-08:002005-02-08T13:34:24.233-08:00

Dear Miss Lonelyparts, I'm a 'professional' woman, if you get my drift, and I'm much worried about one of my best 'lovers.' Seems ever since he was passed over for some hot-stuff award out in Hollywood he's been, 'off his feed,' so-to-speak. In the past I could count on him for four or five large every week for doing easy fluff-n-stuff, maybe 15 minutes of my time, tops, including brushing my

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107833195755598872005-02-07T19:26:00.000-08:002005-02-07T19:26:35.756-08:00

The Secretary General's precise yet diminutive gesture seems to indicate: 1. The amount of time the Christian minority has left in the Darfur region of the Sudan 2. The stack of money his family personally amassed from the Oil for Food bribes relative to his French handlers 3. His estimation of the intelligence of the American people 4. How close his chauffeur-driven Cadillac limousine came to

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107551627244936902005-02-04T13:02:00.000-08:002005-02-04T13:13:47.243-08:00

WASHINGTON (AP) - A Marine Corps general with battle awards is being counseled to watch his words more carefully after publicly observing that "it's fun to shoot some people." Lt. Gen. James Mattis, a career infantry office now in charge of developing ways to better train and equip Marines, also made fun of the manhood of Afghans during comments Tuesday while speaking at a forum in San Diego.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107445369335662062005-02-03T07:42:00.000-08:002005-02-03T07:42:49.336-08:00

"It was awesome," Hawk responded. "I mean, like this Senator dude was actually hangin' with a skateboarder in a diner. Those Repubs wouldn't know a deep carve from a vert ramp, but I'm thinkin' this Pelosi chick could ride a pig through a concrete wave, no problem, man."

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107278112302066292005-02-01T09:11:00.000-08:002005-02-03T09:08:03.960-08:00

Blood-Sucking Lizard Terrorizes D.C.!Alderman Berry Urges Calm, Quaaludes AP-- Alarmed citizens and police alike are on the look-out for a giant blood-sucking lizard believed to be loose on the streets of Washington, D.C. While some eye-witnesses have claimed the beast has a 'human-like' head and was heard pontificating about the Iraq war while ripping the limbs from its latest victim south of

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107271069837967532005-02-01T07:06:00.000-08:002005-02-01T07:27:31.370-08:00

Margaret Spellings, Bush nominee for Secretary of Education, was confirmed late yesterday by the Senate. An avid supporter of the 'No Child Left Behind' initiative, Spellings said in Senate hearings she felt schools needed a no-nonsense approach, adding "I'll bring my experience as a mother to the job." When pressed further on this point by Sen. Clinton, Mrs. Spellings replied, "Listen, I know

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107235051616059312005-01-31T20:54:00.002-08:002005-01-31T22:16:31.483-08:00

Dear Miss Lonelyparts, I have grown recently disturbed. My nights are troubled by horrific dreams. The most frequent is Ted Kennedy sneaks into my room at night, draped in seaweed, the stiff scents of marsh salt and Aberlour A'bunadh soaking the air. I am frozen in fear. Cannot move. He slides into my bed with a soft belch, slithers under my covers, runs his sea-pickled fingers through my hair

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107185051407991102005-01-31T07:20:00.000-08:002005-02-01T13:32:29.446-08:00

Michael Jericho at Western Heart took a nose-dive into the fetid swamps of the Democratic Underground snagging comments regarding the Iraqi elections, so you, faint-hearted reader, could avoid direct exposure. Other than a nasty ear-infection Mr. Jericho seems to have survived. Glenn Reynolds uncovers a sane voice on the DU who goes one better by ruthlessly fisking the less fortunate among us.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107183335119274152005-01-31T06:40:00.000-08:002005-01-31T22:18:51.050-08:00

"These events have caused a nightmare for my family, my children and me," Michael Jackson, 46, said in a court-approved video statement. "I never intend to place myself in so vulnerable a position again." Residents of the Folsom State Men's Correctional Facility disagreed strongly. Fenton Markley [auto theft/assault], 42, said, "We have plenty of vulnerable positions for him when he gets here.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107147223951816762005-01-30T20:29:00.000-08:002005-01-30T21:07:56.883-08:00

Pig-eating infidels! Making with the Satanist votey-votey. Massive get-out-the-martyr campaign only nine show up. Aboud has van to pick them up, they still no home. Waste of gas. What, virgins and paradise no good anymore? We need 'The Boss' or other rocking stars? We give them belts, bombs, the wisdom of Allah, and still just the nine brave warriors. Like bombs grow on olive trees here? Bomb

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107142103623277772005-01-30T19:12:00.000-08:002005-01-31T07:14:03.083-08:00

Well, yeah, there was an election, but will they count all the votes?Elections are one thing, then there's that whole messy government requiring massive multinational involvement and the full cooperation of the whole wide world that George Bush could never muster. So singing Kum-bai-ah right about now wouldn't hurt.Are you sure this was a real election?Did we mention bin Laden is still on the

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107132159448684602005-01-30T16:40:00.000-08:002005-01-30T20:09:19.513-08:00

U.S. election, 2004: 60% turn out; biggest excuse for non-voters: didn't know where their polling place was. Iraqi election, 2005: 60% turn out; biggest excuse for non-voters: couldn't find polling place under rubble produced by mortar attacks.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107131858183322052005-01-30T16:34:00.000-08:002005-01-30T19:47:39.573-08:00

Massachusetts Senator 'Bozo' John Kerry (news - web sites), who lost the November presidential election against Republican President George W. Bush, described the Iraqi elections as "significant" and "important" but said they should not be "overhyped." "It is significant that there is a vote in Iraq," Kerry said in an interview with NBC television's Meet the Press. "But ... no one in the United

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107051014247765362005-01-29T17:25:00.000-08:002005-01-31T07:01:54.760-08:00

"We have declared a fierce war on this evil principle of democracy and those who follow this wrong ideology ... this evil principle. Anyone who tries to set up this system is part of it," Zarqawi said on a tape broadcast this week. For any Iraqi who needed an even more graphic warning, there was this from a leaflet being distributed by insurgent groups around Baghdad: "This is the final warning

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107047453847748172005-01-29T17:08:00.000-08:002005-02-09T08:13:31.356-08:00

Good news for Iraqis: still no sign of Jimmy Carter, U.N. election observers or Jim 'The Legs' Mahoney from Chicago's West side.

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107047208115522852005-01-29T16:58:00.000-08:002005-01-29T17:06:48.116-08:00

Sorta like getting the Godzilla vote...

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1107027472720041372005-01-29T11:32:00.000-08:002005-01-29T11:37:52.720-08:00

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9416507.post-1106957471799406972005-01-28T15:59:00.000-08:002005-01-28T16:11:11.800-08:00

Women Used to Interrogate Gitmo detainees AP...A draft manuscript obtained by The Associated Press is classified as secret pending a Pentagon review for a planned book that details ways the U.S. military used women as part of tougher physical and psychological interrogation tactics to get terrorist suspects to talk. It's a revealing account of interrogations at the detention camp, where

ProfShadehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04918945195552253600noreply@blogger.com0